Saturday morning and I’m waiting for my Fresh Direct delivery to arrive. For you non-Noo Yawkers, Fresh Direct is how you order groceries online. It’s genius because you save time and the sheer physical exertion of dragging your groceries home, but there’s some serious sticker shock in going from Ontario grocery prices to this. New York is so weird like that – some stuff is surprisingly cheap, like cute little neighbourhood restaurants and decent takeout, while 16oz of strawberries are $5 and the good toilet paper is $10. I’m hoping to use Fresh Direct for the big stuff that we need delivered, like cases of water and Red Bull, and then to find a good place in the neighbourhood where we can grocery shop, although I’m not holding out for much better prices – it’s absolutely true when they say it’s actually cheaper to eat out for every meal in NYC than it is to cook for yourself.

Josh arrives tomorrow! I’m so excited that I’m a little sick with it – also probably because the day after that, I go to work. I have the added advantage of having worked at my firm last summer so I know what to expect, but my insides are still all twisted up with the anticipation. Imagine the first day of school jitters compounded with the fear of performing so badly that you’ll be kicked out. It’s times like this where my performance at law school means really nothing – you’re rewarded for doing well on the 100% exams but that doesn’t always necessarily translate into having the practical and social skills necessary to do well in an office environment. Or any common sense for that matter. I briefly worked on a matter last summer with a student from Yale Law School (the best law school in the United States) and she couldn’t figure out how to download publicly available documents about a company from the SEC’s website. Even after I had explained the concept to her. More than once.

It also doesn’t help that the ever-present fear of failure (to which I credit my first year grades!) is exacerbated by such little things as the $36,000 lease I’m accountable for now. Josh might be getting a job where he needs a car, which will cost us around $1200 a month alone when you take into account parking ($350 a month!), insurance, gas and the like. I’ve had many a shivering moment when I realize that if I fail at this I am up shit creek in a more substantial way than I’ve ever experienced before in my life. I'm also responsible for dragging my husband to a new country and starting afresh here. On a bright note - said husband has a job interview for Tuesday!